I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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