Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
