Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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