You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
