Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
