im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize
