yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
