Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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