Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
