You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
