You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
