Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
