ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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