Dual....:-)
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
