Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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