is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
