there was a trapeze. enough said
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
