I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
