I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
