If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
