5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
