We're like a lot better than the average bears
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
