Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
