That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
