I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
