Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
