my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
