You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
a search helicopter?!
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize