So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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