i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize