Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize