why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
