Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
