i would punch a child for taco bell
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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