to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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