I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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