hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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