margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
