I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
