I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
