I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we're making bets on your personal life
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
