so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
