Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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