I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
