I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i now understand why vodka
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
