Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
