Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
