Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Are we still banned from the library?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
