Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Text me some of your sweat
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