i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
