we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
