Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
