quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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