Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
