Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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