I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
