He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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