Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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