U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize