yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she told me i tasted like america
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
