No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
