There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We need to rekindle our bromance
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she told me i tasted like america
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
