He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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